How We "Study" for finals

1. iTunes, now.  No next song, next song.  Fuck it, Pandora it is.
2. People watching in the stacks: Do I go to Honk Kong University?
3. Does that couple need to have so much PDA, get a room!
4. I’m bored, let me watch some porn for intermission.  I’ll be able to “study” once I am stress-relieved.
5. Ahh television.  I’ll study during commercial.  That’s productive isn’t it? Intervals are the best for working out, so it must be for studying too.
6. Shit, I forgot to call my parents and let them know I am “studying.”  I have to bitch to someone.  I love bragging when I am “studying.” Can’t wait to make them think I am the smartest of their kids.
7. (Stumbling through Facebook pictures.) Holy shit! I soooo have to text my friend from home.  Look at how much weight “Jessica” gained this year.  Hahahaha, like the freshman 30!  I can’t wait to walk past her at the country club pool this summer, pina colada will be on me.
8. “Studying” is so depressing.  I need Starbucks because, half of studying is “the look.” Obviously, coffee will put me in the mood to “study.”
9. Adderall time. An hour and half later, after negotiating whether I’ll pay $5 or $10 and hearing how demand is so high this time of year, which is bullshit, I finally found my study drug.
10. Damn, Twitter and Facebook are dead right now. Time to get back to “studying.” Wait, wait, wait, let me check the mini-feed again I need to make sure that bitch deleted the “fat” photo from formal.
11. You know what? I don’t believe in all-nighters.  I heard you score better by getting a good night’s sleep, so it’s time to go home. I rather do poor having not studied and just use the excuse “I didn’t study.”  That option is far better than study my ass off, fail, and feel like a pile of community college trash the rest of the semester.
12. Or should I go out? I mean it’s not like I HAVE to get drunk. I will just go have a few.
13. (waking up) Holy shit! What the fuck happened last night.  Fuck my head hurts! I feel like shit and just don’t care about this test. Why did I go out last night? Oh yeah, that’s right, I am in college. That is why. Suck it professor.
14. C’s get degrees

Written by the College Life Town